Boo! Hahaha, I had enjoyable trying by my CT scan photographs and took this screenshot as a result of it appeared fairly creepy (these eyeballs!).
I understand how uncool it was to put up about my biopsy after which take two weeks to share the outcomes! I felt just like the outcomes took perpetually. For the reason that biopsy was on Friday, I hoped the outcomes could be obtainable on Monday; Tuesday on the newest. Often, labs and exams are uploaded to my chart on-line inside 24 hours or so.
By Wednesday, I nonetheless did not have the outcomes. I known as the ENT doc who’d ordered the biopsy and was advised that the physician wished to go over them in particular person. And that he was going to be out for every week, so the earliest obtainable appointment could be on the twenty second! Listening to that, after all, I ready myself for dangerous information.
In the meantime, I had been leaping by all of the hoops to get an appointment on the College of Michigan medical middle, which may be very tough to get into; it is an enormous instructing hospital. (The lady from scheduling that I spoke with even had my biopsy outcomes however wasn’t allowed to offer them to me.) I requested my main care physician to fax my referral and data (I used to be shocked that folks nonetheless fax issues…) and he or she did it straight away. Then I needed to watch for the scheduler to name me to set the appointment with the ENT (otolaryngology; “ear/nostril/throat”) division. I lastly received an appointment for the twenty fourth (yesterday).
I used to be nonetheless ready on take a look at outcomes, and I simply could not wait anymore. I do not know why I did not ask within the first place, however I contacted my main care doc once more and requested if she had the outcomes and was she capable of add them. Inside an hour, they had been in my chart. (My physician is the BEST at doing every thing shortly.)
Anyway, the consequence was that my mass is benign! Which is clearly nice information. Nonetheless, nevertheless, this mass is inflicting me numerous discomfort–especially after the biopsy. The biopsy made my signs a lot worse and I have been tremendous irritable. I always really feel like my shirt is choking me, however once I attain to drag the collar from my neck, it is not there–it’s simply this mass that’s inflicting the strangling feeling.
The CT that was taken within the emergency room the day of my biopsy confirmed that the mass had elevated by a few centimeter (it was about 5.5 and now it is about 6.5 cm–that’s *very* giant). Since I had the appointment at U of M, I had entry to their affected person portal. My CT scan was in there, and I used to be completely fascinated trying by the pictures. It is like watching a video touring by your physique, one aircraft at a time, and there are photographs from a number of directions–traveling from the entrance of my face to the again of my head, and from both sides touring by to the opposite facet, and even beginning at my lungs, transferring as much as the highest of my head. You’ll be able to see every thing in 3D.)
Primarily based on the physician’s notes and the pictures, it confirmed that my trachea and esophagus had been being pushed to the facet as a result of mass urgent towards them–this is why I’ve issue swallowing and what’s inflicting the strangling feeling. It is pushing my carotid artery towards my again. It is even touching my backbone, and goes down previous my clavicle (collar bone). Needles to say, it is very massive. I knew it might want to come back out, however I hoped that I may save my proper thyroid to be able to *attempt to* keep away from needing hormone substitute treatment for the remainder of my life.
*I should still want it, it can rely on my thyroid perform after surgical procedure*
Right here is a picture that exhibits from the entrance to the back–the pink line is my airway, which must be straight up and down. And the blue circles the mass itself.
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| CT of thyroid mass, circled in blue |
My appointment at U of M yesterday didn’t begin out properly. I do know most individuals will assume that is shallow, however I’ve written earlier than about how I’m having such a tough time with exhibiting indicators of growing old. You could keep in mind when, in 2018(?), Jerry and I went to the lab for him to have his blood drawn and I used to be with him. I sat down within the ready room and he went as much as the counter to verify in. The lady there noticed his license/birthdate and exclaimed how younger he appeared and stated these phrases which nonetheless hang-out me: “I believed that was your mom with you!”
Up till that second, I by no means considered myself as trying previous. However that triggered one thing inside me that made me discover every thing about myself that’s exhibiting indicators of growing old. Do I actually seem like I might be 60-ish+ years previous?! Even when Jerry appeared MUCH younger–let’s say 30 (he is 44)–that would imply I would need to look roughly 50 (at this time I turned 43). I began to really feel extraordinarily self-conscious of my age at that time, regardless that I by no means cared in any respect earlier than. Is not it silly how one single remark from somebody has the ability to do this? Most individuals would most likely snigger about it, nevertheless it had the other impact on me.
Anyway, again to my appointment yesterday. The medical assistant introduced us again to weigh me and get my blood stress. He requested me, “Is that this your son with you?”
My face received actually scorching and my ears instantly began ringing. I used to be so flustered I could not even reply him, and Jerry, realizing I used to be crushed, helped alleviate the awkwardness I felt by making a joke in regards to the fountain of youth or one thing. The medical assistant requested for my birthday and once I advised him, he stated, “Glad early birthday!”. I stated, in what I hoped got here off as nonchalant, “Thanks, however I am out of the blue feeling very previous”. I type of wished to trace to him that as a substitute of asking if it was my son, simply ask who’s with me at this time or one thing like that.
I believed he would apologize, however he did not catch on. I can keep in mind being (comparatively) younger and by no means understanding why age was such a sensitive topic for ladies. After I labored at Curves in my 20’s, many of the girls had been within the 40 to 60-ish age vary and regularly talked about aging–I simply did not get it. I by no means thought I might care about growing old! And I actually would not thoughts it, if I believed I appeared my age–43–but 60+?! That is onerous to swallow. (Fairly actually proper now, haha). When it was only one one that talked about it, it might be written off as a one-off unintentionally impolite remark; however when two folks say it, properly…
Okay, sufficient of that. I used to be pleasantly stunned on the minimal wait time, which was superior. The ENT physician was extremely beneficial by my cousin, who’s a nurse practitioner there, and he or she was every thing I hoped. She was extraordinarily pleasant and affected person, taking the time to reply my questions and clarify every thing rather well. An anesthesiology med pupil was together with her and he was simply as nice.
They needed to scope my throat, which wasn’t enjoyable (on the earlier ENT doc’s workplace, they did it as properly). They put an extended, skinny, versatile tube with a digicam on one finish, by my nostril and down my throat to take a look at my vocal cords. It actually appears like a COVID take a look at, solely like pushing the swab all over to stab your mind. Then it felt like I had a tablet caught in my throat. However my vocal cords aren’t broken; the change in my voice is probably going as a result of my trachea (airway) is being pushed apart by the mass on my thyroid. (My voice has gotten type of raspy and it is a pressure to speak.)
They agreed that the mass ought to come out, and the physician defined the surgical procedure to me. It is below normal anesthesia, which is extra difficult than the IV sedation I had not too long ago for my tooth extraction, however I have been below thrice before–for my two jaw restore surgical procedures and for my pores and skin elimination surgery–so I am not too apprehensive about it. The scariest half is that they’re going to be working in a really vital space of my body–around my airway, my esophagus, my carotid arteries, jugular veins, and vocal cords–and there are dangers with that. However the ENT physician is the one who will likely be performing the surgical procedure and I really feel very assured in her.
After I was tremendous nervous in regards to the normal anesthesia earlier than getting my jaw restore, my surgeon (who was an ENT doc) advised me this: In case you’re apprehensive about your airway throughout surgical procedure, one of the best workforce you may have with you is an ENT workforce. In order that’s comforting! Haha.
The surgical procedure sounds very straight-forward and I will be allowed to depart the identical day (she stated three hours or so). For every week post-op, I must relaxation, not raise something over 10 kilos, eat mushy meals for a few days, and that is about it. There’s numerous follow-up lab work to see if my thyroid hormones tank. They’re utterly regular proper now, so I’m hoping my proper thyroid will do exactly high-quality when the left is gone. The ENT doc stated that it occurs in about half of sufferers with this process.
Now, I simply have to attend for a name from the scheduler to get a date for surgical procedure. The physician stated that since it is not most cancers, I haven’t got to do it proper away–just every time it is handy for me–but I’ll take the primary obtainable date. My signs are driving me loopy, particularly since my biopsy.
Haha! Talking of, after my biopsy I used to be advised that I “might need a small bruise that ought to go away by itself in a few days”. It’s now 15 days later, and that is what it seems to be like:
Except for the bruise, although, the lump may be very noticeable in my neck. It wasn’t like this earlier than the biopsy. This mass grew SO shortly. I observed someday within the summer–I believe August–that my neck appeared a bit greater in entrance. I forgot about it once I received COVID, after which the headache that lasted two months, and the method that led to my tooth extraction.
It was nonetheless barely noticeable in December, however now there is no such thing as a means you may miss it. I am apprehensive it will proceed to develop at this charge. I am thrilled that it is not most cancers, regardless that I knew I would be having surgical procedure both means, nevertheless it’s so uncomfortable–I can not watch for it to be gone!